Cafe M, Newcastle Upon Tyne

Cafe M

Situated next to a University, a metro line and a main road I would have thought this Cafe would get a lot of business, but on any occasion I’ve walked by its been quiet. I never did see any advertising about the place and when it opened, it was sort of just there. Kind of appearing out of no where, but settling straight in, like another person clambering aboard a busy metro train.

Without trying to sound like I am promoting this place, I think people should go. If you’re with your mates and you want a coffee but one of your friends wants a beer, then that’s okay, because Cafe M has a liquor license, and I didn’t even know cafe’s could get that kind of license. But why not I suppose?

You could get your lunch there, sit in, take out, go for a chat with your mates, have a date perhaps. The place looks lovely, the staff are friendly and I’d recommend getting a caramel slice with your latte, because it works out cheaper and the caramel slices are actually rather nice.

The slice by itself costs £1.10. It measures 7.5cm x 5.5cm x 1.9cm thick. That in all honesty is an acceptable size, maybe not quite for £1.10, I’d rather pay something like 70p, maybe 60p. It comes wrapped in plastic, a little too much plastic (I’m an environmental sort of guy) and was sitting to the left of the counter on its own little shelf, naww…

According to a sticker on the back it was made the same day I bought it. I did however eat it two days later, because I forgot about it (sad, I know).

On initial inspection a part of my heart fell away when I saw that it was a short-cake base. If this is your first time reading my blog, let me just say, I’ve never come across a real good short-cake base. I’m all for shortbread. Which is massively different. And much more tasty, frankly. However, I was surprised to find that I actually really liked this base.

At first the base crumbled and powered and gave the impression of eating sawdust, a common trait when eating short-cake and working as a lumberjack. But on every bite that followed, on every suck of flavours, and blending it all together, the sawdust feeling passed and in fact it seemed to crumble a bit less towards the center. The flavour of base was that of Digestives, but it was light and didn’t dare dominate over the caramel.

The caramel and chocolate were light in both flavour and consistency. My teeth slid through the chocolate with great precision and met together in the middle, breaking off a perfect bite. The top was milk chocolate and tasted just fine.

The caramel was perfect. I’m not saying that lightly. Truly, it was perfect. It wasn’t sticky, but it was smooth and creamy and melted perfectly on the tongue, I must get the recipe! I said the flavour was soft, this isn’t a great positive, but it’s not a negative. The flavour didn’t jump up and get hold of my taste buds and shriek ‘I’M HERE! TASTE ME, TASTE ME!’ instead it strolled over and said, ‘ hello dear boy, have a good taste of this, there you go, good, that’s it, nice eh?’ And I like that, truly.

Once finished you don’t really care that it cost £1.10, while you’re eating you don’t really care about anything other than enjoying this perfection.

However, this isn’t a winner. I’m not awarding top marks, because, firstly, the base did at first resemble sawdust. Secondly, I didn’t crave another straight after and I didn’t say, while eating, ‘my goodness this is fantastic!’ But I did enjoy it, I enjoyed it in the most relaxing way possible, and I’ve changed my mind, it is a winner. It’s not the best caramel slice in the UK, but it is the best that I’ve tried so far.

I award it 9.8 out of 10, because it made me entirely content.

I look forward to having a latte with it next time.

Here’s the website, Cafe M check it out for deals and directions.


Apologies for the poor photograph. I’ve misplaced my camera cable and so I’m using my phone for photographs.


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