Great Coffee, Newcastle


I may have been somewhat under-the-weather but that didn’t stop my taste buds from working. I purchased this slice in a lovely little cafe that faces out onto the River Tyne, though I didn’t stop, sit down and eat the slice there. One it was far too early in the morning for a slice and two, I had to get to work. Though, regardless of how I felt about the caramel slice, I made a note to come back and have a coffee. They’re called Great Coffee after all I want to see if that’s true.

I hope they don’t reflect on my opinions about the slice.

The £1.95 slice wasn’t bad, but two layers were mediocre. The noticeable caramel spurred a lot of interest, as I tasted and felt upon my tongue the smoothest caramel ever! Smoother than really smooth things..

In fact it almost had no texture at all and my tongue just slipped on by, it was an unusual feeling, it has to be said. Most like, how you would feel something you have never felt before: the soft touch of a nun’s hand, the rough touch of a burly lumber jack and the feeling of tiny butterflies flapping against your hairless legs (charity wax = cold legs).

That feeling is an automatic 8 points for awesome unusualness.

Shame then, about the thin mediocre chocolate and the moderately crumbly mediocre base. One out of three doesn’t work my dear. The fact that the base is crunchy in one place then chewy in another, just makes things bad unusual.

It has a good a size to it at 9.0 x 5.3 x 1.9cm thick, and I should think so too, for that price, I could buy five Morrison’s ones for around that price and they’d be more tasty.

So here is a butterfly flapping sensation, caramel slice with only 6.5 out of 10.


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