Crisis Skylight Cafe, Newcastle-upon-Tyne


In the past three weeks, I’ve walked past the Skylight cafe some 14 times, but it wasn’t until today that I decided to pop in. Tuesday is to be the day of caramel slices, if I managed to keep a regular pattern going it’ll be good for me, for you and the sales of slices in Newcastle. I used to post various days and some days I could notice I popular flux in visitors, this I feel, was affected by having a journalism class the same day. I can’t remember whether Tuesdays were popular, but nevertheless the posts will be there on Friday anyway, should you prefer to read then.

The name, Crisis Skylight Cafe struck me as a very unusual name and posed some questions of how the window in the roof was proving to be a dangerous situation, object or threat. I then did the modern-day thing of Googling the caf’ and found it to be a charity organisation. The company: Crisis, aim to help single homeless people and they have nine Skylight Cafes throughout the UK, from Edinburgh to Bermondsey (somewhere out London way).

So then, the slice. 

Looks just fine, smells perfect. It measures 5.6cm x 6.0cm x 1.7cm thick. I found it to be very similar GG’s slice, which would be possible as they are no more than a stones throw apart. But the Crisis slice was beyond the realm of GG’s. 

The chocolate was borderline perilously thin at only 2mm, and it broke with expected ease and because of the thinness in didn’t provide a flavour that overpowered the caramel layer. When sucked on its own the flavour was noticeable and simple. The caramel layer was thicker than that of GG’s, at 6mm and provided excellent flavour, consistency, though a touch sticky and kept the tastes buds wanting more.

A digestive compacture (that’s not a word…shame) provided a good taste and it kept itself together with great form and really only exploded into crumbs as I pushed my tongue through its body, this then created a texture and effect like crumbling sand, but this was a good thing.

After the first bite my tastes buds were eager for more, my mouth was watering and I consumed the whole thing fast. 


It’s easy to chew, is a touch vibrant on the back of the throat, but mainly it is near on perfect.

Priced at £1 comes with a serviette and you even get to choose you’re own slice rather than let them pick one. I liked that a lot. There’s often been a time I’ve seen a slice in Havershams and thought ‘ooh I want that one’ and then been given one of less excitement, I know I could ask, but I choose not to.

(I’m listening to Oraanu Pi by E.S. Posthumus it’s very much an epic song for an epic slice.) 

Okay, so it’s simple, slightly small, slightly high on price, though not really and therefore stands with some great pride at 9.6 out of 10. It ticks almost all of my boxes for a great slice, if it ticked them all, it would be 10 out of 10. I don’t know whether it will be the same slice at the Crisis Skylight Cafe in Birmingham or Oxford, I doubt it, at least that gives me places to try in the future. But this Newcastle one does it.


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