Curtis, Lincolnshire/Nottinghamshire


This review could simply be a selection of images.

Before my latest consuming of this slice I had already written about it but forgot to take some photos. Then some time after that first time, I took some photos but forgot to write about it, but also forgot that I had already written about it. Now (well, now was about three weeks ago) I bought the slice, took loads of photos and wrote about it.

The other review is in the wind, but I have all the pictures. However, that would not be a review, barely a picture story, so anyway.

On a cool, January lunch time, Red Dwarf on Dave, I sat down on the faux leather sofa, feet up in reclining pose, plate in hand, I bit into thick cheap chocolate tasting Curtis caramel slice. I had never been a fan of cheap chocolate, it’s something to nibble on whilst baking, but not explore on the top of a caramel slice, oh no… and this taste, was overpowering. I tasted all it’s flavour, all the time. If I wanted a cheap chocolate taste on some brown food, I would have bought a chocolate slice……or just cheap chocolate.


(If you’re struggling to follow this, you have to read it as though you are an eccentric English novelist, with an air of mystery about you).

Put aside the fiendishly fraudulent top and lets dig our teeth into what is left of the base, for most of it has crumbled away to the land of flora plate patterns. It is crunchy and reluctantly very tasty.

Good on the bottom, bad on the top, what awaits us in the middle?

Well I’ll tell you!

Sugar. Sugar, sugar, sugar. Sugary caramel, with a rich flavour that sits in the back of your throat like a bad mistake. ‘Take this glass of water my friend, swallow your pride along with the lump of caramel in your neck.’

The slice, or the square in professional terms measures 6.5cm x 6.5cm x 2.2cm, a more or less average size for a slice, I would not have complained, yet the further through I got, the more I didn’t want it. My jaw began to ache, from the constant chewing, lockjaw aside. It became sickly, the sugar caramel clawing at my throat, I was through with it, no more!



80p if you’re interested. You are? really? why? What you like them? Hmm. Well….

All things considered; nice size, okay price, really good base.

4.8 out of 10  


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