I genuinely believe the place is called ‘Cafe’ there didn’t appear to be any other name on the building and it doesn’t appear on Google search or maps. This said it does exist, it’s not a place that appears at a certain time of day, under a full moon, or when the autumnal light is just right. Frankly, it’s not quite wonderful enough (or at all) to have this kind of Elfish feature.
They weren’t selling their own hand-made slices either it was the kind made else where and packaged in branded wrapping. My thoughts on the slice do not reflect my thoughts on the cafe, but it certainly adds to it.
Cafe sells, for 99p a Wicked cake. I find that the Wicked part of their name, is the more detestable definition, brewed by a witch and banned from the world via a flaming ball of evil. As oppose to the free willed, peace out, hippy loving definition.
Firstly, the size and price are promising. We’re looking at 11.2 x 4.3 cm at 2.2 cm thick. That’s quite a whopper for 99p. But you open the packet and a smell of something, not caramel, shoves itself up your nostrils and says ‘get a load of this.’ But I don’t want to be able to smell it from two feet away, it’s simply not got the caramel flavour that it should have.
And here’s why: The description of the cake goes like this, “A handmade shortcake layered with caramel fudgice and topped with chocolate flavour coating.”
Let’s dissect this. First of all, it’s not a shortcake, it’s a shortbread cake, there are clear sight, smell and taste difference between the two. Secondly, fudgice, as it turns out, is not a typo. From what I can gather it’s a combination of fudge and icing, and although it’s hard to find information on it, I believe is a way to make a longer lasting caramel, that has a stronger consistency. That said, it’s frankly, disgusting. Thirdly, it hasn’t got real chocolate on top, which explains to me why it didn’t melt like chocolate when in the mouth.
To sum this up, the base is something else entirely. It’s actually a very thick, dry, crumbly mess. It’s worse than a Greggs slice, because even they have a proper shortbread flavour.
The caramel is not caramel and therefore it could be described as not being a caramel slice and the chocolate is someone’s cheap idea of chocolate.
The Wicked Cake Company need to sort their act out here and either make a proper slice or change it’s name to ‘fudge shortbread,’ with ‘fake chocolate’ highlighted in bold capital letters.
Here’s to the slice with the lowest ever score: 0 out of 10